Life – CD 1
LIFE – CD 2
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BLUES FOR G
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
All of a sudden I can see
All the good things Mother Earth gave to me
All of a sudden I can see
All the good things Mother Earth gave to me
See that man on that chair
See that man on that chair
He’s sitting in his garden
Among flowers and stones
His legs are crossed, among flowers and stones
What does he think on that chair?
What does he feel on that chair?
People pass by, they wave saying hi
Suddenly a smile, among flowers and stones
Flowers and stones, flowers and stones
A little smile lights up his face
A bigger smile, is grudge erased?
He’s waiting for that something
He’ll never tell, he’ll never tell, he’ll never tell
See that chair without the man
An empty chair, same corner
He’s in another garden among flowers and stones
Through his hair, flowers and stones
Above his head, flowers and stones
On a golden chair
Among flowers and stones, flowers and stones, flowers and stones
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BETTER THAN ME
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
You think you’re better than me
Just because of your hands around my neck
You think you’re better than me
Just because of your arrogance and violent instinct
But it’s only cowardice and ignorance
Yeah it’s only cowardice and ignorance
So you think you can say whatever you please
‘cause you’re bigger than me a so called adult
So you think you can do whatever you want
Just because you see me small, my back against the wall
But it’s only cowardice and ignorance
Yeah it’s only cowardice and ignorance
I trusted you but then you showed your true colors
I trusted you but then you showed your true colors
I think you have to…go back to your rancid hole!
But it’s only cowardice and ignorance
Yeah it’s only cowardice and ignorance
But it’s only cowardice and ignorance
Yeah it’s only cowardice and ignorance
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THE WHEEL
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
Hey are you ok?
Spring’s outside, but I’m not in a bloom mood
Everyone’s waiting for sunshine
Everyone is searching for a spot of light
Don’t say you’re not ready
Don’t say you’re not ready for a ride
And the wheel keeps spinning
And time flies away
And the wheel keeps turning and I’m on my way
And the wheel keeps spinning
And time bounces away
Some say this merry go round
Is something worth being bound
Is something worth being bound…to
Hey are you still there?
On that bench in the sun like you don’t care
Everyone’s waiting for wonders
Everyone’s waiting for some kind of relief
Don’t say you’re not ready
Don’t say you’re not ready for a ride
Don’t say you’re not ready
Don’t say you’re not ready for a ride
And the wheel keeps spinning
And time flies away
And the wheel keeps turning and I’m on my way
- And the wheel keeps spinning
- And time bounces away
- Some say this merry go roundIs something worth being boundIs something worth being bound…toTurn, turn, turn, turn
And the wheel keeps spinning
And time flies away
And the wheel keeps turning and I’m on my way
And the wheel keeps spinning
And time bounces away
Some say this merry go round
Is something worth being bound to
Is something worth being bound to
And the wheel keeps spinning
And time flies away
And the wheel keeps turning and I’m on my way
And the wheel keeps spinning
And time bounces away
Some say this merry go round
Is something worth being bound
Is something worth being bound …to
Turn, turn, turn, turn
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RENATA
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
I see you in my dreams
But every time I cannot reach you
You’re always busy doing something else
Lost in your world of pearls
But I can see you skirt, your hair
I can see your hands making circles
And circles, and circles and circles
A beautiful circle, a circle, a circle
To me it’s art
You draw lines in the air
I follow them one by one
I still feel your hand, so warm and careful hand
On my head
No matter if we talk or not, I’ll cherish this moment forever on
And I can see your favourite pullover
I can see your earrings and your face half turned aside
And circles, and circles and circles
A beautiful circle, a circle, a circle
To me it’s life
Anytime if you want to come and see me
I will always be there waiting for you to call
My name in the middle of the night, middle of the day
I’ll just close my eyes hoping for you to stay
‘cause I miss you, I miss you, I miss you
Oh I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, all the time
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DOUBLE TROUBLE
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
My head is in trouble
Memories started seeing double
I can’t get you off of my mind
Pour me another one
Just trying to have a little fun
But fun, it ends soon when you’re broke
Me and my misery
Along in company
Sources of energy
To break through the night
Me and my misery
We do share company
Sources of anxiety
To spend the night awake
Standing in the shadow
Streets dark and narrow
Believing that you still my babe
Standing in the shadow
Streets loud with sorrow
Hoping that you still my babe
My eyes are seeing double
Soon I know I’ll be in trouble
Going back home tryin’ not to make a sound
Praying they’re all asleep
Can’t kick shoes off of my feet
Crawling on my elbows like a trained marineMe and my misery
Along in company
Sources of energy
To break through the night
Me and my misery
We do share company
Sources of anxiety
To spend the night awake
Standing in the shadow
Streets dark and narrow
Believing that you still my babe
Standing in the shadow
Streets loud with sorrow
Hoping that you still my babe
Please let some light shine here
My zig zag walk will disappear
Please just let me get this clear
I need some kind of a deal
Me and my misery
Along in company
Sources of energy
To break through the night
Me and my misery
We do share company
Sources of anxiety
To spend the night awake
Standing in the shadow
Streets dark and narrow
Believing that you still my babe
Standing in the shadow
Streets loud with sorrow
Hoping that you still my babe
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LIFE
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
I don’t think that I deserve your faith
Movin’ forward just to see what’s left behind
Crackin’ all the good things just to hear the sound
You can say I’m a bitch ‘cause I don’t wanna hear that sound
Life is shitty sometimes
Well you have to change your habits to survive
Life makes you crazy sometimes
You have just to learn how to swim in an ocean full of shit
We’d deserve an Olympic medal for this
I don’t think I want to see you today
I have to discover how much I can be missed
Surely I will end up thinking “I’m alone”
You can say I don’t know what I want ‘cause it’s clearly true
Life is shitty sometimes
Well you have to adjust habits to survive
Life makes you dizzy sometimes
You have just to learn how to swim in an ocean full of shit
We’d deserve an Olimpic medal for this
Surprise!!!!
Life, life, life, life, life, life, life, life
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MY FEET
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
And my eyes can see your face
And my ears can hear your voice
And my fingers can touch your skin
But my feet walk away from you
They’re walking miles from you
Yeah my hair can feel the wind
And my toes are getting cold
And my nails can scratch the paint
And I certainly won’t have your back next time
My feet are running away from you
My feet are walking away from you
We’re getting miles away from you
We’re getting miles away from you
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RESONANCE
(Music by Ellen River)
I SEE
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
Snowflakes are falling
I feel empty inside, my brain is frozen
Snowflakes are falling
I’m at the window looking outside, I feel terrible
I see, I see, I see
I should have known it before, my body was tryin’ to communicate
I see, I see, I see
I see, my guts felt something, I knew it
Snowflakes keepin’ me company
Endless days, full of pain
Snowflakes, finally coming down
Something so joyful crashing to the ground
I see, I see, I see it coming
As the days go by, it’s stunning
I see, I see that I’m lucky
There’s nothing left to say, I’ve had the chance to fight
When many have not, when many have not, when many have not so thank you
Thank you for your love and precious support
When I wasn’t even there for myself
When I couldn’t help but worry
When I thought I was alone in that room
Now I see something’s comingI hope it’s beautiful and colorful
Waiting for me behind this window pane
I see this endless tunnel, but I know it’s gonna end someday
As long as you’re here with me
As long as your hand’s on my shoulder
As long as I see your light
As long as I feel your glow
As long as you’re here with me
As long as your hand’s on my shoulder
As long as I see your light
As long as I feel your glow
As long as you’re here with me
As long as your hand’s on my shoulder
As long as I see your light
As long as I feel your glow
As long as you’re here with me
As long as your hand’s on my shoulder
As long as I see your light
As long as I feel your glow
As long as you’re here with me
As long as your hand’s on my shoulder
As long as I see your light
As long as I feel your glow
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NOBODY ANSWERS
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
They say call between eleven and twelve
call between eleven and twelve
call between eleven and twelve ah oh
They say between eleven and twelve
Call between eleven and twelve
call between eleven and twelve a-a-oh a-a-oh
but the line is always busy
They say write an e-mail
They say write an e-mail
To the address given below oh oh
They say write an e-mail
You can write an e-mail
To the address given below oh oh
But nobody answers
They say you have to try
Try, try and try
It’s up to you
Try again, please
They say you have to try
Try, try and try
It’s up to you
Try again, try again pleaseBut nobody answers
the line is always busy (what am I supposed, what am I supposed to do)
and nobody answers
and nobody answers
and the line is always busy
nobody answers
Fuck!
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ELECTROSHOCK
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
I’m ready to go
They say they’ll take care of me
There is something wrong with me
And they will fix it
I’ll be ok
On my way to go
All my things packed up
Only what is necessary
‘cause I have no need they say
They will provide everything it takes for me to
Have the cure
Goodbye my boys
Mama gotta go away
Promise you’ll do your homework and get it right
They say a mother can’t behave like me
They will teach me how to be a good one
For good
Months and months apart
I’ve lost so much of you
Blurred and numb they say I’m ok now
How can I be ok If I feel a great void
No relief
When I hear thunders I pray
Please no more thunders
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MAKE IT RIGHT
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
Everytime I try to make it right
Everytime I try to make it right
Everytime I try to make it right
Everytime I try to make it right
It just ain’t right
It can’t go right
Oh my heart is breaking
Oh my legs are shaking
And I can’t stand one minute more here
Oh my head is aching
Oh my trust is fading
And I can’t stand one second more here
Every night I try not to think about
Every single thing I cannot live without
Every time I try to make it roll
I slowly start losing control
And begin’ to hope
It’s all a joke
Oh my heart is breaking
Oh my legs are shaking
And I can’t stand one minute more here
Oh my head is aching
Oh my trust is fading
And I can’t stand one second more here
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WAITING
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
I’m waiting for a little spark
Waiting for the sun to rise
I’m waiting for all of the sleeping promises
on the shelf are dusted off
I’m waiting for your crooked smile
And your frowning forehead
I’m waiting for your scent
To bright up this fuzzy life
I’m waiting for the best to come
Even if the best doesn’t exist
I’m waiting for my soul
To be lifted high and higher
I’m waiting to feel again
That warmth I used to know
I’m waiting for the shadows
To be dissipated
I’m waiting at this table
To close my eyes and breathe
I’m waiting for you to come back home
And for myself to come back home too
I’m waiting, I’m good at waiting
Patience is my ally
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FAREWELL WITCH’S CAT
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
I am where I have to be
I am where I wanna be
Your tiny head in my head
Our love ‘til the end
Your spirit will guide me when I get lost
Your force will help me when I need it most
Your spirit will guide me when I get lost
Your force will help me when I need it most
Your eyes of green are staring at me
My eyes of brown admiring your beauty
We’ve gone that far, our journey so long
I know you’re going back right where you belong
I am where I have to be
I am where I want to be
I am here right beside you
You know I would never leave you
I am where I have to be
I am where I want to be
Your tiny head in my head
Our love ‘til the end
Our love ‘til the end
Our love ‘til the end
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THIS TIME AROUND
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
Are you waiting for someone?
Girl you’re so cute
You don’t need to wait for nobody but you
Hey little darling would you come with me instead
Of waiting here alone and tasting regret
Saw her pretty face
Reminded me when I was younger
Full of fears, many doubts, thinking I couldn’t live without approval
Waiting for smiling faces
So worried about what other people might think instead
Of choosing my own path
Are you feeling tired?
Girl that’s fair
You’re strugglin’ all day long against your own will
Hey little baby don’t you think this time around
You’re ready to be the one you’ve always dreamed about
Saw her pretty face
Reminded me when I was younger
Full of fears, many doubts, thinking I couldn’t live without approval
Waiting for smiling faces
So worried about what other people might think instead
Of choosing my own path
family’s expectations
make you feel so low
pushing you to forget
how to roll with the flow
societal expectations
make you feel so low
pushing you to forget
how to roll with the flow
with the flow
Saw her pretty face
Reminded me when I was younger
Full of fears, many doubts, thinking I couldn’t live without approval
Waiting for smiling faces
So worried about what other people might think instead
Of choosing my own path
Saw her pretty face
Reminded me when I was younger
Full of fears, many doubts, thinking I couldn’t live without approval
Waiting for smiling faces
So worried about what other people might think instead
Of choosing my own path
You have to choose and follow your dreams
And follow your dreams
You have to choose and follow your dreams
You have to choose babe, doesn’t matter what they say
Doesn’t matter what they say
It doesn’t matter
It doesn’t matter
It doesn’t matter
Just be yourself
JUST A BAD DREAM
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
Goin’ on day by day
Thinkin’ where you are gonna stay
Thinkin’ how you’ll get through this whole thing
Wake up now, it’s such a beautiful day
Don’t mind troubles soon they’ll fade away
You just need to focus on your aspirations
(go on) It’s just a bad dream
(no) don’t stress about it
(go on) It’s just a bad dream
(no) don’t mind at all
Sittin’ here by your side
I only want you to keep in mind
It’s not how it ends a shooting star makes her beauty vain
Take my hand, our fireworks life
Will be full of surprises and I
Will stay up night and day
To make you smile again
(go on) It’s just a bad dream
(go on) don’t stress about it
(go on) It’s just a bad dream
(go on) don’t mind at all
LET’S GO
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
Let’s call a taxi
Let’s go anywhere we want
Don’t tell your friends
Let’s do this alone
The ride’s on me (x2)
We’re tryin’ hard just to keep it up
Everyone struggles in their own way
So do we but tonight try to make it alright
Feel the air on your fingertips
Feel the rhythm of the calling spirit
Live in the now and forge memory of a moment
That will never come back
Let’s have a drink
Let’s have a strong one
Don’t you feel the vibe of the night that comes along?
She comes along
Let’s go and find
An open space
Better a field so we can dance face to face
Our perfect place, our perfect place
Feel the air on your fingertips
Feel the rhythm of the calling spirit
Live in the now and forge memory of a moment
That will never come back
We’re on our way
We’re on our way
Live in the now, we’re on our way
Feel the air on your fingertips
Feel the rhythm of the calling spirit
Live in the now and forge memory of a moment
That will never come back
Feel the air on your fingertips
Feel the rhythm of the calling spirit
Live in the now and forge memory of a moment
That will never come back
Let’s celebrate life !
WOULD YOU?
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
Would you like to sit?
Sit here for a while
I got a lot of things to say
I say them better in the dark
Cause I was so ashamed
That I’ve always cried
Yeah I was always crying
When I was overwhelmed
I’ve been always told
I was only a
Able to cry
Instead of reacting
Would you like to sit
Sit here for a while
I would like to talk
If you don’t mind
For every heartbreak
And for every fear
I collected ‘em all
Inside my tiny soul
You keep staring at me
I just cannot talk
Please allow the dark
To fulfill my tongue
Cause I need to speak
Words will come out as a creek
I’ll show you fragility and emotionality
They don’t mean weakness or symptoms to be treated
But something powerful that irradiates our souls
If you’d just let me speak
BUBBLES
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
Try to breathe
It’s not water
It’s not water
What you see
Try to breathe
It’s not water
It’s not water
You’re in
Bubbles
It’s just water
Down your throat
Try to breathe, try to breathe
Speak, tell something
Try to breathe
It’s just water, down your throat
Bubbles
Try to breathe
It’s just water
It’s just water
What you see
Try to breathe
It’s not water
It’s not water
What you see
Wake up!
OUT OF THE STORM
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
I’ve pushed myself further and further and more
I’ve drowned my anxiety to be abandoned into
an endless lake of tequila shots
Just to see, just to see if I could forget
Circles and circles, spinning way beyond the edge
Headed nowhere just to see if I could still walk
You taught me how to hide feelings, hide them
where no one could ever find them
to swallow the pain and keep a safe place for it
inside my body, inside of me
an empty room ready to be filled
you’re so good at it, not like me
you seem not to be vulnerable, impossible to be touched
using words like knives
with your voice that’s always the same
always the same no matter what
your rage, a powerful rage
through your veins, ready to explode
your eyes from kindness to hate in a sec
I’ve never understood my fault, what have I done
What have I done to make your rage so big
Bigger and bigger maybe because I was born
Maybe because I was there to remind you
What you were not able to be
A caring person, not to others
A caring person to me
A safe place where I could go during a storm
No Sir, not at all
I wanted to die to see if I could be less transparent that I already wasWanted to do something special,
something great, something positive To show you I did exist, a human being not perfect but myself
I think I failed, warmth is not something you can easily gain
You have to struggle and maybe it’s not coming anyway
So deal with it
The feeling someone has just kicked you off of his life
And there’s no way to take part of it again
Never again
Well I think you’re a good man
Your world sucked you and you couldn’t escape
Your past simply devoured your soul chewing mercilessly every single piece
What’s left was a lonely boy dealing with bigger stuff, bigger than him
You just needed a hand in that dark place you were thrown
I would have wanted to tell you that it was all ok, but I wasn’t there
I wasn’t there to hold your hand, I wasn’t there to be your friend
I wasn’t there, I was not even born
I’m sorry for you and I’m sorry for me too
But we’re here, we survived despite everything
But we love each other our own particular way
It’s been a hell of a ride
What we have now, if you want,
is all that mattersIt’s all that matters
It’s all that matters
If you want it’s all that matters
LUCY
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
Lucy
Please stay here with me
I need your energy
Please Lucy
Lucy
Please play cards with me
Your fanciful swearing
Makes me die laughing
Please Lucy
Lucy
Please keep this tone of voice I hear
This phone call is bringing me to tears of joy
Lucy
Tell me another tale
Of your childhood, your brothers, sisters and WW II
Lucy
I miss the sparkle in your eyes
But when I least expect it
It comes out of nowhere
Like it never left
Lucy
Please take a dance with me
Music has always been your power switch
Please Lucy
Lucy
please Lucy, stay with me, please Lucy
STILL LEARNING
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
Sometimes you feel you’ve got everything
Sometimes it feels like you’ve got nothing at all
Sometimes you’re holding your hands full of flies
Sometimes you’re grabbin’ on just to survive
I, I, I, I’m still learning
I, I, I, I’m still learning
From you
Sometimes you know what’s the right thing to do
Sometimes you get lost in the deep crazy blue
Sometimes you’re struggling for all your beliefs
Sometimes you’re carried by wind just like leaves
I, I, I, I’m still learning
I, I, I, I’m still learning
From you
You, my example
You my leading voice
You with your strength and constancy
A river of willingness I love swimming into
You….you
I, I, I, I’m still learning
I, I, I, I’m still learning
From you
Sometimes you feel you’ve got everything
ONCE AGAIN
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
Would you repeat it once again
I say thank you in advance
I know I’m going to forget
Everything that you just said
Would you please repeat it once again?
I know it’s kinda frustrating
I know it’s really annoying
But I really need your voice and help
So please think
How can I feel
I’m gonna lose everything
All my memories fading away
Just sit here
I’m gonna lose everything
Please don’t let my memories forget about me
Would you stop looking me like that ?
I just cannot help, it makes me mad
I know that it’s hard to comprehend
Close your eyes, breathe, take my hand
Remember how I used to make you feel
All the love, you sitting on my lap while I comb your hair
I have never ever believed
I would have fallen on my knees
So please think
How can I feel
I’m gonna lose everythingAll my memories fading away
Just sit hereI’m gonna lose everything
Please don’t let my memories forget about me,
Please help my memories to find their way back home
PIRATES ROUTES
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
Livin’ ain’t easy
Day by day, you got to try
Livin’ ain’t easy
Rules we abide, stars collide
Come here this evening
We’ll figure out how to draw trails
Look at my face, all these lines in the mirror
(just like pencil marks)
They lead me far and furrow waters
(just like pirate routes)
Livin’ ain’t easy
No discount, guaranteed sweat
Sand between teeth and stormy sea in the heart
Life will deceive you , it makes you think you’ll not get through it
Look at my face, all these lines in the mirror
(just like pencil marks)
They lead me far ad furrow waters
(just like pirate routes)
Look at my face, all these lines in the mirror
(just like pencil marks)
They lead me far ad furrow waters
(just like pirate routes)
INSIDE A PICTURE
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
I would like to live inside a picture
Taken somewhere, somehow a long ago
You could see me anytime you want to
Simply pickin’ me out of your wallet
Livin’ the world inside a picture
Choosing my favourite one new or old
You could find me there with some precious advice
Kiss me goodnight and put me back in your wallet
It’s raining hard down here
I don’t care how’s the weather outside
Here I can change it anytime I want to
Sparkling water turned into sparkling wine
Livin’ the world inside a picture
Choosing my favourite one new or old
You could find me there with some precious advice
Kiss me goodnight and put me back in your wallet
Now I’m a child, I’m old
I’m a butterfly, I’m a pirate
I’m a brittlebush in the desert
Waving to the wind
And I dance, I dance, I dance (x2)
Livin’ the world inside a picture
Choosing my favourite one new or old
You could find me there with some precious advice
Kiss me goodnight and put me back in your wallet
I’M READY
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
Your smiling face
I think I’ve seen it before
Maybe in another life, another time
This calls to mind that I’m alive
This calls to mind that we’re just passing by
And I feel that my heart is beating like a drum and it’s ok
And I feel that my heart is going to explode and I’m ready
Your bright eyes
I’ve already found them
In other dimensions, another story
This calls to mind how many lives
Have been knockin’ on my chest
And I feel that my heart is beating like a drum and it’s ok
And I feel that my heart is going to explode and I’m ready
And I feel that my heart is beating like a drum and it’s ok
And I feel that my heart is going to explode and I’m ready
No more hesitations
No more cold feet
No more stillness
I’m ready
And I feel that my heart is beating like a drum and it’s ok
And I feel that my heart is going to explode and I’m ready
And I feel that my heart is beating like a drum and it’s ok
And I feel that my heart is going to explode and I’m ready
And I feel that my heart is beating like a drum and it’s ok
And I feel that my heart is going to explode and I’m ready
And I feel that my heart is beating like a drum and it’s ok
And I feel that my heart is going to explode and I’m ready
GONNA SLEEP WITH MY DREAMS
(Music and Lyrics by Ellen River)
I’m gonna sleep with my dreams
They’re not like you
They make me feel warm and make me believe
Tomorrow is a newborn
I’m gonna sleep with my dreams
Even if they’re not real
They make me hope there’s something for me
At the end of the road
You’ve killed my beliefs
You’ve killed my heartbeats
You’ve killed every little thing I called my own
I’m gonna sleep with my dreams
Close my eyes and see
You’ve poisoned every butterfly day by day silently
I’m gonna sleep with my dreams
Wrapped up in colors
Livin’ in a tent in the middle of the woods
Be fulfilled by scents
You’ve killed my beliefs
You’ve killed my heartbeats
You’ve killed every little thing I called my own
Call me NATURE
Call me ANIMAL
Call me WILD
Call me FREE
Call me ME
Call me NATURE
Call me ANIMAL
Call me WILD
Call me FREE,
Call me FREE,
Call me FREE,
Call me ME
I’m gonna sleep with my dreams
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